getting started

Well, my former colleagues, middle school teachers, are busy attending mandatory meetings and getting their classrooms ready, and I find myself almost giddy that I'm not with them. I do wish I were still around my colleagues more - it'd be nice to miniaturize them and tote them around like Polly Pockets. They are some of the best people I've ever known. But... right about now, if I were still teaching, I'd be in full-on panic mode. I would have started having the dreams where the kids come, and I have nothing prepared, so they become unruly and start throwing desks around. I'd have a vague uneasiness about the kids I've been warned to "keep a special eye on." I'd have a crushing sense of imprisonment, knowing near all my waking hours would be consumed with planning or grading papers or worrying about kids who hate me and the class and what could I do to make it all better?

Don't get me wrong, I always did right by the kids. But I did start to really really hate my job. When one student raised his hand and said, "I don't get it," I thought "So what?". Of course I helped him, he was counting on me, but I knew teaching was over for me. All teachers think So What sometimes (right???), but it sort of became a theme for me, at least in my head.

So I quit, and I said goodbye to my wonderful colleagues, and now here I am in library school. I've never earned a Master's Degree before, and I don't know what to expect as far as difficulty and time commitment. I'm a little antsy about it, but in a good way. I haven't had any nightmares yet, except the one where I forgot to pay my tuition, but I just did that an hour ago, so all is good (except that now I don't have any money). The thing is, I'm excited about the possibilities. It's new and fresh and exciting for me. I don't even know what I want to specialize in, though I plan to do work with digital collections, and I like museums (anthro undergrad), and I like the idea of cataloging. So... yeah. All I really know is, I don't think I want to work with the public anymore. I'm through with people!!

And I hope it's a long, long time before think so what about librarianship.